Saturday, January 12, 2008


I started off the day being kind of 'stone'. Went to bed at almost 1am, after ending off a party at 10pm last night, and preparing for it half of yesterday. But had to drag myself out of bed as we had a morning party today starting at 9.30am. It appears I made a very wrong judgement call in going for it. I shouldn't even have bothered. As it is, I was having a headache, and coming down with a sore throat, and possibly flu. Probably caught it from the princess. The experience has spoiled my entire half day, and possibly the rest of it as the scene plays itself over and over in my mind.

I had informed the mother that I was just going to be there for an hour as my girl is having ballet exams and training is very intensive at the present moment till exam day, thus we cannot miss even one lesson. Teacher made it very clear from the start when we signed up for exams. However, princess was ill last Saturday so we had already missed one class. I would have dragged her there if not for the fact that she was totally miserable and not in any state to dance.

So imagine the rude shock I had when I told the mum I was leaving and she turned round and told me 'how can you be so rude?! It's S's last party here and you are leaving for a ballet class? S is missing her ballet class too!'. What the f*** was that all about???!!! I'm sorry about the language here but I am still p**sing mad that someone can be so rude. Did she look in the mirror when she said that? The fact that I even made the effort to go there even for an hour when I could have just told her downright straight that I couldn't make it? I was totally knocked off guard and I could just feel my heart jump out the moment she said that. I had the total shock of my life! The appropriate thing to say would be 'I'm sorry she has to miss the party and maybe we can catch up again or something'. I turned round and said it to her, 'how can you say that? I already told you beforehand that I will be here for a very short time'. When I said that to her, she said, 'oh, I was only joking'. I tell you the way she said it was anything but joking, more an accusation. Moreover, you don't say someone is rude then turn around and say it was a joke! How rude is that?! I mean it's S's birthday so of course if you chose that date, you have to sacrifice her ballet class. And besides, she is not doing exams! I bet you, if it was her daughter doing exams, she wouldn't be saying that! There were also 50kids. Tell me, would you notice one kid gone missing?!

I was so totally upset and met M on the way while I was leaving, and she tried to console me. I had to be very strong to stop the tears from flowing as I kept thinking, my goodness, what are the ballet mums gonna think of me going in there and having red, crying eyes.

I had a similar incident last night when one of princess' classmates came very late, after her extra ballet class, and she didn't have very much time to play. But I didn't accuse them of being rude by coming so late.

I just have to let it all out here because I just can't keep it in me and stew in it. Hopefully by getting it all out, I will somehow be soothed.


Peony said...

poor dear
I wld break down n cried too when someone is rude to me.Like u, don't know how to react at that precise moment.

but hopefully we become stronger n know how to deal with it next time.

Bless U, hope you feel better now, how's the sore throat?

singairishgirl said...

peony - I am like that. That's why I don't think I will make a good lawyer. I get too emotional. I can't fight it out at the moment but when given time and having digested, I am all ready to battle it out but that is too late. Haha. So it will keep bothering me and I'll just have to let it pass.

I don't know if will get stronger and know how to deal with it the next time, haha. It will be a different story the next time. I can't retort fast enough... slow brains haha.

Thanks for your consolation Peony. I had a little rest and now feel slightly better. Headache's gone and throat better but I think having running nose. Gonna dose on Vit C and echinacea now.

Little Corner of Mine said...

D, I'm just like you, slow brains and won't know how to retort when confronted like that. Yes, let it out, let it all out, hopefully it will make you feel better.

Maya said...

Its her daughter's bday, its appropriate tht shes gonna miss classes since she choose tht particular day. Y should princess or any other child miss their class too? They aint E star of E day or sumthing, they only need to make a special "guest appearance" :p Seriously, I think its already gracious and polite of you to actually turn up for E party and you should be proud of yourself. At least i am proud of you! *Grins* Can't help it if she failed to see tht.

singairishgirl said...

little corner of mine - Thanks C.

maya - Exactly! You're right. We're just guests. I know of course it will make their day that we are there, but that's really not how you treat your guest. Awww thank you for your support.

trevshanhann said...

WHAT!! That was really uncalled for and i have to say no point having friends like that... Really D.. She was really rude and i also would be like you and not know what to say at that moment.Anyway you have friends like us to turn too lah!

singairishgirl said...

trevshanhann - Thanks my dear friend. I know. I'm not upset anymore, more like angry. She had the cheek to leave me a voicemail to say, we're waiting for you... there's still a goody bag for S. Call me. What the hell? No apology nothing and want me to call her? Who cares about a damn goody bag?

Jori said...

Sounds to me like she has realized she crossed a line, and now she is trying to make up for it. May be too late - that will be YOUR choice, not hers.
IMHO, you have every right to be angry with her, but I think you got your point across when you responded as you did. Sounds to me like she is a bit of a bully, and was hoping to 'embarass' you in to staying. You did just the right thing. Be proud of yourself!

singairishgirl said...

jori - Oh I don't know if she realised it. But if she's so full of herself, it probably didn't even occur to her that she crossed the line. Exactly, but why should I make the choice when she might not have realised that?

Yes, it's because I said what I did that she must have realised I wasn't one to be bullied. I have never felt my heart jump out before and I literally felt it that day when the words left her mouth. I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. How can someone be so spoilt?

Cranberry said...

hugs to you, Deb. How could she! that's so rude of her.. hope you re feeling better now..

singairishgirl said...

cranberry - Thanks J. Ya, I'm alright now, no problem.

Sue Sue said...

I think she is real rude. You just dun bother with her words. Be happy OK.

singairishgirl said...

sue sue - Ya. I'm ok. Ya, I don't bother lah.

Beau Lotus said...

Some mothers have forgotten that they have Bday parties for their children - not themselves. And you really just want your kid to be happy, and the kids whom he/she plays with to be happy too. This is no black tie event with protocol, the fact that you even turned up in spite of your schedule is a wonder. And whether you stay for an hour or more you would have made the effort to come and would have given the Bday girl a gift, so why does she need to be so rude? And she certainly shouldn't tell you if you have the right to make your girl miss her ballet class or not.

I've always had kids turning up late or not turning up at all at the last minute and I had to just live with it - and that when I had only a few guests and not having even one turn up could sometimes be a horror (e.g. cinema tickets paid for in advance etc). She had 50, so one leaving early would not be a big deal.

No point being upset with ungracious people like that, actually why do Singapore parents now have to go crazy with kids' parties and turn them into such huge events anyway?

singairishgirl said...

beau lotus - Yes S, you are so right. I know. I've had parties where kids don't turn up too. Sometimes you can't tell with kids. One minute they are well and suddenly they just fall sick. There was even one who turned up when it was over and said so what, we're here now and we are not leaving yet, so the important thing is we made it. What could I say to that? I was seething too, and she was a good friend. Well, she's no longer a friend and of cos that wasn't the reason for the ending of our friendship. There were many other factors prior to that.

Well, for me, I've always had big parties cos got too many friends and each has like 2 or three, even 4 kids so they end up big, what to do? ;) And I love to do parties so. :P