Tuesday, April 22, 2008

In loving memory...

Two years seem like a decade really. This was the last Mother's Day that we celebrated with darling Ah Ma as she didn't make it to the next. Even though she looked very happy in this photo, she was sick then and had gotten permission from the hospital, to be released for a couple of hours, to spend time together with us for lunch. The uncles arranged for lunch at a dimsum restaurant and most of the family was there. I guess that was what made her so happy.

Her sickness came as a shock to us and as she was already in her 80s, we grandchildren thought that she shouldn't be made to suffer through chemo etc. Her children thought otherwise.

Much as she loved us all, she loved her great-grandchildren even more, as you must be very blessed to have lived so long to get to meet them. There are only 2 - princess and Z. Unfortunately they will not get to know her. I do remind princess of Tai Ma all the time, and we visit her at her niche too. She calls her the 'Tai Ma who went to Heaven', or 'the old Tai Ma', as she has 2.

Memories of her are around me every day, as I now live near where I grew up. Coming from a broken home, my sis and I were cared of by her and lived with her most of our lives. She was like a mother to us. The market down at my place is where I used to go with her when I was young and on days when I wasn't lazy. Also on Saturdays when they were not working, Z's grandparents will pick her up in their car to take her there to stock up on her groceries. The pork stall is the same one she used to buy from but it was run by the stall owner's father during those days. And so too is the sundry shop. The young man used to manage the stall with his grandmother and he still remembers me and asks after Ah Ma. If I'm not wrong, the fish stall that I patronise is the same too, run by a few of the old man's sons now. Thus I love my present home as I am reminded of her everywhere in this neighbourhood. When I first moved here 5 years ago, the market was undergoing renovations as a new one had been built to replace the old one from Ah Ma's time. As the temporary market was a distance away, I bought quite a lot of foodstuff so that I needn't go every day. Since there are only 3 in our family to feed, I often bought enough for a week. However, I struggled with the bags of foodstuff and it was then I thought of Ah Ma, how she often had to walk such a long distance home carrying her very heavy-laden basket and being young, we didn't know how much she had to suffer just to bring food to the table. I appreciated her more.

My only regret is that princess and I didn't get to spend lots of time with her towards the end of her years here on earth - conflicts in the family and such.

So my advice to you is, put aside the disagreements and spend as much time as possible with your loved ones as you don't know what tomorrow will bring.

11 comments:

Jori said...

I can tell from your post that you loved your grandmother dearly, and still miss her today. Don't live with regret - I'm sure she knew how much you loved her, and I'm sure the love she had for you was even greater.
Your advise is very sound, too. It's something we all need to keep in our minds as we 'rush around' doing things that really don't matter all that much.
Loved ones really all special.

daphne said...

I agree with u. How easy it is to take the person in front of u for granted.

I like this template best d. It's a smoothing colour. I see that u managed to put the header back on! It looks great!!

Shazz said...

I still dream of her very often & she's always happy :) Really miss those market days. Seems so long ago. Precious memories. Miss you Ah ma & love you.

singairishgirl said...

jori - Yes, my sis and I were like her youngest children according to an aunt. She brought us up. And we do miss her dearly as she was taken away suddenly but God didn't want her to suffer that's why He didn't prolong her stay here. She had a full life, imagine living to be 84. Yes, it is important not to take life for granted.

daphne - I totally can feel the love you have for your popo as it reminds me of Shazz n I. Ya, soothing right? It's not done yet. ;)

shazz - It's really great that she is always happy. There's no need for her to worry about this and that son, so what's not to be happy right? Those market days were long ago even though they seem like yesterday.

Little Corner of Mine said...

That's a nice entry in memory of your "Ah Ma". Excellent advice for all of us too.

singairishgirl said...

little corner of mine - Thanks C.

Mochachocolata Rita said...

I just lost my grandma to cervix cancer...I'd like to think that she is now in a better place, and not in pain...may they rest in peace...let strength be with those who are left behind

singairishgirl said...

rita - Oh you poor dear. Were you very close too? Well she is in a better place and not suffering. That's the consolation. Indeed, we need the strength.

Big Boys Oven said...

I do agree with you so much!

Camemberu said...

What a poignant entry! And a marvelous reminder for us to set aside petty disagreements and cherish what is truly important.

You are blessed to have had such a wonderful grandmother!

petite fleur said...

My popo took care of us when we were kids cos my parents were working.

So she's there in all my childhood memories & really somebody I'd looked up to. As she got older, she wanted to move back to her village in Guangzhou & became sort of a recluse. I was lucky enough to visit her one last time before she died.

But I wished I'd spent more time with her too. Thank you for this post reminding us to cherish our loved ones.